The shadow self

I was thinking about my shadow self, the other day, and I realised it was quite large- more of an ecliptical self, really. What I (secretly) hate about myself has now become my sole barometre of friendship. Instead of being drawn to people I like, I end up with them by default because they don’t annoy me. It’s sad, really (except that I don’t do self-pity).

The shadow self is the dark part of your personality that you suppress but that you subconsciously project on people around you. You can’t stand self-indulgent morons: that probably makes you one. It’s addictive when you start analysing it, especially when there are so many things to hate.

It’s the Jungian equivalent of a nasty STD. It lies dormant within you, you pass it on, and then you don’t want to sleep with the person you’ve infected with your boils.

I’ve come to the conclusion that by disliking so many traits, I must be a very dislikeable person indeed. Not that I care: I hate people who try too hard to be liked. But preliminary research does suggest I am a very insecure, rude and negative person who hangs around in packs and thinks Milan Kundera is the dog’s bollocks. Having said that, I’m not sure I like confident, genteel and bubbly loners either.

I wonder if this extends to things as well as people. Have I a secret penchant for mime, markets and festivals with local colour? Do I harbour a dark dream to be a corporate lawyer?

I hope it works the other way around. If I’m drawn to very funny and charming millionaires maybe it makes me one of them. But if they project their shadow selves upon me (insecure losers who need external validation), then clearly not.

The key must be reconciliation with the shadow. Develop your inner Darth. After all, I used to hate bloggers.