Definitions

I learnt a new word this weekend. Bucocky. Apparently it’s really rude in America, but I refuse to believe that because it just sounds so silly. Like a posh word for rural rumpy-pumpy. “Let’s go and bucocky in mummy’s herb garden.” But no. It means: to ejaculate on a woman’s (or, presumably, a man’s) face. It’s so rude it trumps the c-word and the f-word. Allegedly.

Which is interesting. Because the connotations are of loose, demeaning sexual behaviour. But without going into a diatribe about how sex is just about power (because actually, sex can sometimes just be about sex), surely a sexual act between consenting adults cannot be ruder than the more Mediterranean motherfucker? I know I’d rather an irate motorist accuse me of having left-field sex with my partner, than sex, vanilla or not, with my mother.

And as for those who will argue that sperm on the face is inherently demeaning, well, maybe, but is it really more so than swallowing it? I suppose it’s messier. Maybe it’s like the bedroom equivalent of spitting in someone’s face: a big cultural no-no.

At the very least, it’s useful to know what the zeitgeist Meatloaf practice is: girls and boys, if you sleep with an American, that is what you don’t do for love.